Today’s Secret Regret

“My biggest regret is speaking out.
I have been sexually assulted for over a year by my ex boyfriend. I had always planned on abstinence and was hurt when in the end I didnt get that. But I stayed with him and kept it all to myself. Now I am in the army and one day after it happened again I cried to a friend of mine who told a higher up in my company. I was asked if I wanted to file a report and I said no. Later when that higher up came to me, he tricked me into saying it wasn’t consensual thus he filed the report for me. Taking the situation out of my hands and having an investigation start without my consent. Which to me is just as bad as the charges placed on my ex. Now they are pursuing rape charges on him and I am stuck here without my best friend and not being allowed to talk to him or see him. His whole life is ruined because I said anything to begin with. Our whole life is ruined. I still love him, and it is fucked up that I only realize it now.
I wish I never opened my mouth.”
19, Female

2 thoughts on “Today’s Secret Regret

  1. I feel sorry for you. Because you sided with your abuser he will contito revictimizr others. I don’t blame you, I just wish you’d realize this.


  2. I’m confused. You say your ex sexually assaulted you. But then you say the “higher up” “tricked you” into saying it wasn’t consensual. Sexual assault means there was no consent. If you consented, then it wasn’t sexual assault (unless you were under age, but you don’t say how old you were when these events happened).
    It sounds like you did the right thing in saying something about it and having it reported. I know it’s hard to watch someone we love get into trouble for something they did, but it does happen. I wish you well, and I wish you healing.


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