Today’s Secret Regret

I regret that it has taken me until the age of 59 to realize I have never felt real love because I don’t know what it is. Since I was a small child I never allowed myself to show my feelings and never remember any signs of affection in our domestic violent household. People must be able to see inside of me that I am a broken person and don’t want to get to know me. I regret that I’m still here. F/59

Today’s Secret Regret

I regret every single time I’ve regretted having fun and experimenting with guys. I regret the fact that I’m so strict with myself that I don’t allowed myself to be free in these sense that I have to control every step that I make with guys without letting myself enjoy and not overthink. But, most of all, I regret wasting seven years on the most piece of shit guy I’ve ever met in my life. A guy that is afraid of being with the girl of his dreams. A coward, a man who wouldn’t fight for love, but would be able to dizzy the girl until making her mentally unstable, without any regret. I regret kissing him the day before yesterday right after he tried to hook up with another girl, but, the most important, I regret falling every time he came back because I was so blind to think he could see my value the way I did. Because, yes, if there is something I’ve never regretted is knowing my value and the strength I have within to overcome these shitty situations he puts me on every time he decides to come back. Fuck you. Seriously. I will not be there for you anymore.

Today’s Secret Regret

I regret losing the girl of my life. We met while I was studying in France. She was absolutely perfect for me and I am sure she felt the same way about me. We had four or five months together and it was the best time in my life. We fit together so well, we didn’t agree on everything but we worked things out so well between us. Then she had to return to the US to complete her studies and I had to return to the UK to complete mine. We wrote for about two years but after a while she returned my letters. I never met anyone like her since and I tried very hard. More recently we talked and I learned that she is married. The problem is that meeting her has ruled me ever since and has also destroyed my marriage because I have lived my life comparing my current wife with her. I live my life with a pain for which I can find no relief.

Today’s Secret Regret

My mom died of cancer. I regret not visiting her more before she was diagnosed. I regret not visiting her more after she was diagnosed. The truth is… I’m an asshole who didn’t live up to the upbringing of my mother. She was my hero. So.. that’s my regret. Hopefully I can change for the better. For mom.

Today’s Secret Regret

My biggest regret in life was never being able to tell my first love why I suddenly ghosted him. We were in a long distance relationship and had to communicate through an online platform. Despite this I felt a very deep connection to him. When I was unfairly punished by my Dad because of lies he was told about me and denied access to this platform for several months, I was unable to actually tell him what happened. I feel awful and I’m afraid that he might hate me for it. Maybe now he doesn’t even remember me. But I definitely remember him and I tried locating him on the same platform several years later but to no avail. It really makes me sad knowing I will probably never be able to tell him what happened. Even if he’s gotten over me, or doesn’t care, or doesn’t remember I still feel like I owe him this explanation.

Today’s Secret Regret

I regret…not telling my parents about my sexual assault. I also regret not doing anything about it. I regret ever going to the party in the first place. For a time, I thought that it was my fault. That if I didn’t drink, maybe it wouldn’t have happened. There was a long period of time where I couldn’t even look at my body. I would do anything I could to make myself not look revealing, even gaining at least 30 pounds my freshman year of college. But this story has a bittersweet ending. I am losing weight, and am slowly regaining trust in my male friends who I once never second-guessed their intentions since they’re like my family. But I can never bring myself to tell my parents what happened, and it’s best if they never do find out.

Today’s Secret Regret

My sister died of cancer one week ago at the age of 39 and leaving behind a 5 year old son. I regret I didn’t spend more time with her because I didn’t want to go to the park or do other “entertain the children” activities (I have none). She was the most lovely sister in the world. You simply don’t realize the clock is ticking. Now I will go to the park with her son more often. But she will not join us and that is super painful.

Today’s Secret Regret

“I regret allowing circumstances of the past affect me today. Once my mother found my diary when I was around 12 or 13, while I was at school. When I came home from school, I was excited to put my new entry in, but I could not find it. My mother came into my room and scolded me telling me how horrible I was. It was deeply ingrained so I do not recall the details but I still vow never to write down my inner feelings ever again so someone may “open the book” and read them. It makes me feel like who I am inside is not good enough and needs fixed somehow. To this day I cannot seem to shake the idea that my inner feelings are forbidden or wrong somehow. I deeply wish I could find out how to release this and let it go.”