SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: April 26, 2017

I regret not re-reporting a sexual assault by my professor. When it happened I was in shock. It was a couple months before I reported it, and nothing was done about the situation. He was given a promotion to the head of my department, and will now be at my graduation as someone to shake hands with as I walk off stage. I can’t tell my parents about it, so they will make me walk. If I could have a do over I would push more when I reported it, and I would tell my parents. Now I feel stuck and like there is nothing I can do.

Female/22

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: April 25, 2017

My biggest regret is allowing myself to stay in a 12 year marriage. At the time I had no idea what a narcissist was. Sadly, now I know ALL too well. This man who I loved above all else, managed to take me down little by little, and it got to the point where I wouldn’t speak for fear of saying the wrong thing. Nothing was good enough. I could never win. At that time I was devastated by how fast it all happened. After that marriage ended, yes I felt free, but now I am left with crippling insecurities. Am I pretty enough? Am I interesting enough? Do I pull my weight in this relationship? I have so much leftover anxiety from my first marriage, I fear I’m carrying it into my current marriage. For me the saddest part is that subconsciously, I still feel not good enough. When will that stop?!

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: April 24, 2107

I regret allowing my mental illness to control my life. I battled for so many years without treatment. I avoided relationships, lost friends, feared work, left school, and more. I never felt that I could live a normal life until now. I’m still struggling, but I believe that I can finally regain control over my life.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: April 23, 2017

My biggest regret is how I treated a woman in my life. There was a girl that I secretly really liked, and if I had just been a better person we might have at least have been good friends. Instead, I made an extremely vile, violent sexual comment about her that she overheard. (I still remember word-for-word what I said, but I can’t say it here.) At the time, I justified it to myself by saying I was putting on a persona to be edgy, but there really was no excuse in the end for me to have said it in the first place. I don’t think I realized the gravity of what I had done for a few days at first. I remember, desperately and immaturely, trying to talk to her and “fix” things until someone told me that I had to not try to inject myself into the equation, and wait until she was ready/if she was ready. I saw her every so often afterwards over the course of about 3 years, but she never spoke to me again. She just wanted to forget I existed. I wanted to forget I existed. That should tell you how bad what I said was; there are some things that you say or do where you just can’t put humpty dumpty back together again. It’s been about 10 years since that day, and I just can’t stop thinking about how bad I feel, the pain I caused her, and how things might have been different had I actually chosen to be a good person…

26/m

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: March 30, 2017

By far my biggest regret is not telling a girl I had serious feelings for in our first year at university that I wanted her. Fears of losing our friendship (thinking she didnt feel the same), not picking up signals, timing etc. The inexperience of youth. I changed universities and we lost touch over the years. Its now been 14 years.

A couple of days ago we got in touch. Shes now married, so am I, and we’re both very happy. But it turns out she felt the same at the time. Just cant help but wonder what if I had taken the chance.

33/Male

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: March 29, 2017

I regret my own inability to stop caring so much about other people and their daily struggles. I empathize with the world around me to the point of exhaustion. I’ve always been able to truly put myself in a stranger’s shoes, to understand them and help guide them. When I worked as an EMT, it helped me so much to treat my patients, to connect with them, and positively impact their lives. As a medical student now, Im not sure if it’s the stress I’m under or the horrible things that are happening all over the world right now, but I feel so overwhelmed. I’ve seen people die before, I’ve even been there to hold their hand in their final moments or frantically attempted to bring them back to life with everything I had. I remember every single patient, I mourned every single one. But I was able to move forward to the next patient and be okay. Lately, I’m so overwhelmed with the daily images I’m seeing of people dying. Patients with terminal illnesses, people without proper access to medical care that would have saved their lives had they had it in time. People being abused, murdered and raped. All these horrible stories that seem to constantly tell us all that humanity is gone. Images of children washing up on European shores. I feel every single loss as if it were my own family. I can barely sleep thinking about all of these people, how much I wish I could help them but have no power to do it. I need to distance myself like I’m taught by my teachers, but I can’t seem to shake this giant sense of loss and guilt every time I see another tragedy.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: March 27, 2017

My STD saved my life
I lived your typical small town life growing up. I was involved in everything in high school, had a supportive and loving family, and a high school sweetheart. I graduated high school and went off to the university I had always dreamed of attending to pursue my dreams. My high school sweetheart helped me get through the first year of college; the stress, the homesickness – he was there for it all.
After freshmen year our goals in life just didn’t match up. After three years we decided to split ways. I spent two weeks laying in bed, feeling sorry for myself, trying to get him back. It wasn’t until my friends drug me to a party when I started learning to love the single life. I discovered there were numerous guys who thought I was attractive. That one party I was drug to led to more and more parties. I went from never being around alcohol to drinking underage every weekend. My life started going down hill when I met a guy at a party. He was handsome, he seemed sweet, he had a good job, his name was “popular” – everyone knew him. We texted for a while and the texting led to me coming home every weekend from college to see him.
Every weekend turned into my driving home two hours to see him, getting hammered on both Friday and Saturday, fighting with my family, and letting my friends slip away. I did it weekend after weekend. He made me feel “popular”, he gave me attention – sexual attention. However, he didn’t care about me. He would take me to a bar or party, make sure I had something to drink while he socialized with everyone but me, and then took me home to his bed. He did things to me I wasn’t okay with. He didn’t give me much of a choice and I was scared to say no. I had seen him fight with people; I saw how angry he could get. I was afraid if I fought back he would hurt me. So weekend after weekend I laid there while he did what he wanted, letting my life slip away.
I was still getting A’s in college. I still had a successful job. However, I started getting muscle spasms and had acid build up from too much alcohol. My body wasn’t okay with what I was doing, but I was addicted to the attention and lost all respect for my body. I came to realize this boy was sleeping with other girls – even when I was around.
Just then I turned to other guys for the same attention. Other guys wanted to do what he did, and I let them. They wanted to take advantage of this girl who let them do what they wanted. I went from one sexual partner, my high school sweetheart, to 10 sexual partners in a short year.
I had lost all respect for myself. I didn’t listen to my family or friends. I let guys do what they wanted. I enjoyed the attention. It was out of control, sleeping with numerous guys in one weekend (twins even). I didn’t care if it was good attention I was receiving; I just liked the attention.
All this came to a stop when I finally had the nerve to go get a yearly check up. I knew my body wasn’t right for quite a while, but I was too scared to do something about it. I got my test results while at work one afternoon. They said “You have chlamydia.” I wasn’t surprised. I was scared. What was I supposed to do? Who did I get it from? I had been with too many people to know. Do I tell people?
I texted my two recent partners telling them the news because I thought that was the right thing to do. I then went to the pharmacy and got my medication. That afternoon my friend called. The entire world of Twitter knew about my STD. People were tweeting like crazy, retweeting like crazy, and favoriting it like crazy. It was everywhere!!
I called the police in tears desperately wanting this to all go away. I had to tell my mom. I had to face my problem. The police were able to have it removed and my mother responded better than I expected. I met with a county attorney about what was posted on Twitter. Unfortunately, her response was, “It is freedom of speech. I can’t do anything about it.” I had to have the police on speed dial because for a while after this happened I received phone calls saying, “I’m going to kill you for telling people you got it from me.” However, my main concern was having to face the public because everyone knew. How was I supposed to face people?
But facing people is just what I did. I opened my eyes to the last year of my life and faced it with broad shoulders. I leaned upon friends and family that had stuck with me the entire way and overcame people’s laughs and dirty looks.
My STD saved my life. I started respecting my body again. I no longer needed attention from guys to be happy. I am beyond thankful that year ended with an STD and not a positive pregnancy test, getting caught underage drinking, getting in a wreck from riding with a drunk driver, and better yet getting beaten by some of the guys I had chose to be with. My STD opened my eyes to where my life was headed and helped me turn it around. My STD made me grow as a person and I am forever thankful for that.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: March 24, 2017

I resorted to prostitution/escorting to stay afloat. I regret lying about what my job was to my newest potential lover. I want out so so badly but it all seems so far away. No one will ever know what I have had to do. It is something that will have to stay with me for life. I know the shame will fade with time but I will alway be in fear of my partners and family finding out.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: March 23, 2017

I regret going out last night…. I got myself way too drunk to the point where I cannot remember most of the night. I regret getting in that car with you because now I feel violated but I feel like it’s my fault… you were sober, I was not but I must have consented. Even though I don’t remember much I know we slept together at your friends house. I don’t remember having sex but I know it happened. I regret being me at the moment. I know I’m using alcohol as a way to escape reality. I feel trapped in my own head but now I feel dirty.