“I regret ever becoming a parent. We adopted our daughter at a young age from another country. We had this romantic notion that we could make someone’s life better, give them the chance they wouldn’t have had, give someone a family, and a home. We thought we could make a difference. I was wrong. I am in shock in how little impact we have had.

I should have never been her parent, apparently I don’t have the patience or fortitude for it. Everything we do seems to be for nothing. She is a source of grief and stress in our family. There is no joy in her and I am deeply resentful of her because of it. She is most comfortable when she is miserable and she makes those around her miserable. She never fully trusted us nor really became part of the family. She saps our resources and gives nothing but heartache in return. She has impaced our lives for the worse. I knew parenting would be hard, especially with an adopted child, what I did not know is that there would be no reward in it. I don’t know if I love her, I have very few positive feelings towards her. I do know that I don’t like her. I hate myself for failing this way and not being big enough to overcome all of these odds. I have never worked so hard at something only to feel totally inept. I resent her for fighting us in everything we try to give her and help her with. I hope to just get through it. If I had it to do all over again, I would have never been a parent.” F43


“My biggest regret in my life is sleeping with someone else when the love of my life and I were seeing each other – despite us not being officially in a relationship, we still loved each other and I slept with my ex. I will always carry that guilt with me forever and how it hurt you. And thereafter, maintaining contact with my ex – for what reason, I do not know! Having a further encounter with him whilst being in a relationship torments me, as he is nothing and you are everything. I made a mistake as I did not want to let him go yet until I was certain about you – what I didn’t realise is that you were exactly what I have dreamed of since I was born. I love you, and I pray my guilt subsides as I will never again do such things.”


“I regret not telling my mom’s family that I’m an atheist, and I regret not telling anyone in my family about my boyfriend of a year and a half. I married young and religious and “right” in my family’s mind, and it ended very quickly and dramatically. Now I’m happy on my own terms but frozen by the same fear that got me married in the first place – fear that their conditional love will once again snap into incredible disappointment and embarrassment, just like every other decision they can’t handle.”


“I regret hiding so much of myself from everyone around me. I regret hiding that I’m an immigrant. I regret hiding that I self harmed (years ago). I regret not telling people that I’m gay. I regret not telling my mom that I’m agnostic. I regret hiding so many of my emotions. I regret holding back my opinions. I regret all the times I suffered in silence. I regret all my silence. Dammit, I regret all my silence.”


“I regret that I am not strong enough to leave him, that I’m still sitting here beside him as he is belittling me and degrading me. I was adamant I’d never let a man treat me this way, and yet, here I am. My mind tells me to leave, my heart won’t get my legs moving. I have tried and tried and tried to be the very best girlfriend I could be to him for the last two years, treat him as I want to be treated, spent countless dollars on him because I thought he deserved to be treated nicely…but what I get in return is “shut up, quit talking, you’re annoying, quit crying, I can’t do this.” I regret that this one night stand turned into a full blow relationSHIT.” Female,36


My biggest regret is allowing myself to stay in a 12 year marriage. At the time I had no idea what a narcissist was. Sadly, now I know ALL too well. This man who I loved above all else, managed to teak me down little by little, and it got to the point where I wouldn’t speak for fear of saying the wrong thing. Nothing was good enough. I could ever win. At that time I was devastated by how fast it all happened. After that marriage ended, yes I felt free, but now I am left with crippling insecurities. Am I pretty enough? Am I interesting enough? Do I pull my weight in this relationship? I have so much leftover anxiety from my first marriage, I fear I’m carrying it into my current marriage. For me the saddest part is that subconciously, I still feel not good enough. When will that stop?!