SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 27, 2017

(See English translation below original posted regret…)

Me arrepiento de no detenerme a pensar en vos cuando tomé la decisión de dejarte. Me arrepiento de tardar tanto en asimilar la verdadera gravedad de lo que te hice, y por no hacer nada por enmendarlo cuando pude. Me arrepiento por hacerte sentir y creer que no me importabas. Fuiste una muchacha maravillosa conmigo y no te valoré como debí, me diste todo y yo lo tiré por ahí, te quise mucho pero preferí estar sólo para tratar de “superar mi pasado”, me arrepiento de ser un cobarde. Y aunque he aprendido muchísimo de esto, siento que no compensa el hecho de dejarte ir. Odio el hecho de que ya no estés en mi vida, no solo eras mi novia sino también mi amiga. Te echo tanto de menos, vos eras la indicada. Yo en verdad, en verdad, lo siento mucho. 28

I regret not stopping to think of you when I made the decision to leave you. I regret to take so long to assimilate the true gravity of what I did to you, and to do nothing to amend it when I could. I repent to make you feel and believe that I did not care. You were a wonderful girl with me and I did not value you as I should, you gave me everything and I threw it around, I loved you a lot but I preferred to be just to try to “overcome my past”, I regret being a coward. And although I’ve learned a lot from this, I feel it does not make up for letting you go. I hate the fact that you are no longer in my life, you were not only my girlfriend but also my friend. I miss you so much, you were the one. I really, really, really am sorry. 28

 

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 24, 2017

I regret falling in love with a woman who was wrong for me. I chased her for so many years, but never earned her love. She played with my emotions. Now, I’m watching all of my friends get married and I’m still single. They warned me not to mess with her, but I didn’t listen. I felt that she was the one, but she wasn’t. I regret the day that I met her and decided that she was worth the chase. I didn’t even have to chase her since she was standing still. She was waiting for someone. She just wasn’t waiting for me.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 23, 2017

I was fifteen years old. I had been told off by my Dad for play fighting with my little sister. I went to bed early that night watching the film police academy on my portable tv. I heard my parents going to bed so I quickly turned off the telly and thought to shout out goodnight but I was still feeling hurt and sulking and thought no I will talk to them tomorrow. I must have fallen asleep the next thing I heard was my mother screaming my name and banging on our dividing wall. I leapt out of bed stormed into their room thinking I was in bother again. My Mom was cradling my Dad lying on his side in the bed. My mouth fell open. She said, “Your Dad’s having a heart attack go and ring for an ambulance. We had no phone, the nearest phone was a two minute walk. I figured it would be better to bang on my neighbours door. It was gone midnight and understandably she wasn’t keen on coming to the door. I went to run to the phone box but turned half way down the drive to see her turning off her light. I ran back and I was shouting who it was. When she answered the door I told her the situation, I then headed back to my house. My ten year old little sister who I had been play fighting with just hours before had walked into my patents room. I led her away to wait downstairs for the ambulance. It seemed to take for ever to arrive. I later found they had travelled from twenty minutes away and it took them fifteen. They tried to save my Dad but he died. He’d had a massive heart attack. I always regret not saying goodnight when I had the chance. It hangs over my every day thoughts. I will never come to terms with how I behaved no matter what anyone says to me. I now let people bully me and push me about including family. I just don’t want to ever go through it again. While my sisters have been successful I’m not working they all have degrees, I have a diploma. All because I went to sleep on an argument.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: June 27, 2017

My best friend was suicidal and he told me about it. I thought I could save him and that all he needed was a good friend. He was like a brother and I loved and love him. He killed himself and I can’t help but blame myself its been months but it weighs on my heart so I do bad things to compensate for the deed. People will tell me that its not my fault and that it was his choice, I cant forgive myself. My biggest regret is not telling anyone. My school puts up posters in my honor, how lovely. I stare my mistake everyday in the face. Im broken inside and nothing seems to help.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: June26, 2017

I regret giving all that I am to save one not ready to be saved. I lost myself and felt as if the life had been burned right out of me. I cried, I begged, I pleaded for the sake of our baby. But love means nothing when the drive for something so powerful controls the mind. My regret is losing our hopes and dreams. I regret losing myself. I loved unconditionally and I went through moments of horror. I breathed life back into your lungs. It meant nothing. I can’t help anyone until they are ready to be saved.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: June 25, 2017

I regret all of the time that I spent with you. I should have given my love and affection to someone else. But, I chose you and ended up brokenhearted. How stubborn of me. All of those meaningless lunch and dinner outings could have been saved for someone who actually cares about me. I could have saved a shitload of money, too. Money isn’t everything, but wasting it on such an ungrateful woman is beyond upsetting. I tried so hard to earn more than you were willing to give of yourself. You knew this and kept taking whatever I gave you. You happily took from someone who you already knew would never be enough for you. How selfish of you. You led me on. You never wanted me and I was foolish to think that I had a chance. But, the foolishness ends today. I have to move on. I have to let you go. You can carry on with those who want to use you and can’t offer you the unconditional love that I had for you. I wish you the best.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: April 26, 2017

I regret not re-reporting a sexual assault by my professor. When it happened I was in shock. It was a couple months before I reported it, and nothing was done about the situation. He was given a promotion to the head of my department, and will now be at my graduation as someone to shake hands with as I walk off stage. I can’t tell my parents about it, so they will make me walk. If I could have a do over I would push more when I reported it, and I would tell my parents. Now I feel stuck and like there is nothing I can do.

Female/22

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: April 25, 2017

My biggest regret is allowing myself to stay in a 12 year marriage. At the time I had no idea what a narcissist was. Sadly, now I know ALL too well. This man who I loved above all else, managed to take me down little by little, and it got to the point where I wouldn’t speak for fear of saying the wrong thing. Nothing was good enough. I could never win. At that time I was devastated by how fast it all happened. After that marriage ended, yes I felt free, but now I am left with crippling insecurities. Am I pretty enough? Am I interesting enough? Do I pull my weight in this relationship? I try to start being more healthy and do more exercise and eat healthy products as maeng da kratom and others. I have so much leftover anxiety from my first marriage, I fear I’m carrying it into my current marriage, I have been looking for the best place to buy kratom so I can control my anxiety. For me the saddest part is that subconsciously, I still feel not good enough. When will that stop?!