I hate how every anniversary of my mother’s death i continue to lie under the same sorrow i feel for never having her touch, her embrace, her unconditional love and support. Why can’t i get over it? I want to tear away my heart and my feelings for feeling so alone, so depressed, so miserable, so used, so insignificant since the day she died 5 years ago. Now everything i do is a routine – wake up after 5 hours of sleep, go to school, go to work to ease a huge financial strain since her death, and put up a brave and happy face for my father back home when inside im so miserable. I’m trying to be a superwoman for my only family when deep inside i feel like an imposter. I don’t know what i want to do anymore. I just want to be content with my life but it’s so hard to pull myself away from the depression that i still continue to have even after all these years.I already feel like im secretly dying every day.
I regret not telling anyone I was abused as a child. I regret not telling my teacher, my sunday school teacher, my grandmother, anyone. Most of all, I regret not finding the courage to tell the police that everything my sister said was true when she ran away from home and letting them return her to that hell we called home. F/42
I regret moving to another city with you and leaving after three days. It broke my heart leaving you there alone, especially after you put your life on hold for that moment. To this day I don’t know why I did it. Leaving you killed me inside, but I guess that I was afraid. Of what I don’t know because I loved you so much.
I wish I had you in front of me so that I could say how sorry I am. It’s been 13 years and I still can’t forgive myself. I’m sorry RL.
I regret not being the friend I should be, especially since I was shown how to be a friend by her. I regret my selfishness, not putting the needs of my best friend first, which cost me that very friendship.
I regret being impatient…believing at 18 there must be something wrong with me because I hadn’t fallen in love. So I pretended…..I lived with that pretence for over 15 years. I never admitted it but I gave you reason to be fed up with me …I blamed you for not being who I wanted you to be. A man I really did love.That wasn’t fair. Neither of us cheated…but we ended up tearing each other apart. ..I know you loved me with all your heart. You were frustrated …you did some things which can never be taken back and ended our marriage….. I lied to you and that is unforgivable. We have 3 kind intelligent wonderful adult children. I am so proud of who they are. …..
I regret hurting and blaming you. I regret what we ended up doing to each other. You have a new partner now and I am hopeful you share a genuine love for each other.I have been on my own for over 15 year and have recently said and meant those words to someone who said they couldn’t return them to me. It hurts even at my age but it’s ok. ..I can’t help but believe it’s what I deserve. ..F52
I regret that I did not get to know my older brother so well, as our childhood was scary, and when I was 16, he left home, and when I was in my teens I left home myself and went to live in another country. He died young of cancer and I never got to say I love you, and goodbye. I always regret what might have been.I always have a sadness about this.
My biggest regret is letting my parents and my high school guidance counselor dissuade me from the career I wanted to have. I grew up on the east coast and wanted to attend an industrial design school in California. My parents said I couldn’t go there because it was too far away, and my mother said she didn’t want me to “throw my life away” (her exact words) on this career.
My guidance counselor was set on my going into engineering and got me a small scholarship to an engineering school, so I gave in and went there.
After two years in engineering school, I couldn’t handle some of the advanced math and other technical courses, so I quit and changed my major. I had a “successful” career in another field, but it was not the one I wanted.
These people were only thinking of fulfilling their own desires and not about what was best for me. I should have told them that I was not going to do what they wanted. I should have gotten a job and earned the money I needed to go to the school I wanted and paid for it myself.
I regret that I spent almost 15 years allowing someone who I thought was my best childhood friend to lead me down a path of drugs, alcoholism and unhappiness. I regret that I let him bring me to the brink of death and allowed him to talk me into committing criminal acts that are at the very least stupid and at the worst could have hurt someone else. I regret that I didn’t see it sooner, that I didn’t stop it sooner, and most of all, that I didn’t stop myself from allowing it to happen sooner.
I regret living long enough to post this. My life is in shambles now and there’s nothing that I can do to fix it. I’ve tried everything. I made so many foolish decisions. I lost so many wonderful friendships due to my cold, distant personality. I miss them. None of this can be fixed. I’m lonely, unsuccessful, and severely depressed. I should have given up this battle a long time ago. I regret that I didn’t.
I regret not coming out as transgender in high school. Granted, I didn’t have the words to describe what I was at the time, but I had so many friends that would have understood. Maybe if I had come out to my parents in high school, they wouldn’t have been so confused. Maybe they wouldn’t have blamed themselves or me or said the things that they did that led to where we are now. Maybe I would have had a collective of friends to usher me in lovingly with things like “it’s going to be okay”, or “there’s nothing wrong with you”. Maybe things would have eventually just fallen into what’s going on now. My mom has all but disowned me, my dad won’t even speak of it at all. I have few friends left, I have withdrawn to a more solitary lifestyle. I don’t really feel like I want to have many people close anymore, but I always just wonder how things could have been different.