SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: January 18, 2017

I regret not thinking it was cool to hang out with you and her. I regret every time you two would come to my door, I turned you down. If I didn’t do that, maybe you would have come to me last February. Maybe you would have been here at college in the fall to see that there was more to your life. I regret not being the friend I should have been.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: January 17, 2017

I regret not being there for my brother when he committed suicide. There were so many times I could’ve made an impact, but it was too late. I’ve never gotten over that but people have been desperately trying to help me. It’s working a little, but I still blame myself. I know in my head it’s not my fault, but I just wish I could’ve made a difference.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: January 16, 2017

I regret is becoming so objective and “cynical.” I put work and tasks before people and I know that it has hurt them. I work on it now, but, but I’m far too rational of a person. I say that she brought in too much baggage, but I know my last relationship ended because I ripped her to shreds in our last fight trying way to hard to win the fight… overthinking everything.

Secret Regrets featured on BBC

Check out my interview with the BBC’s “The Why Factor.” This radio documentary recently aired worldwide. The regrets featured throughout the show are from the Secret Regrets books and website. My interview starts at about the 9:55 mark. What an insightful look at what we regret, why we regret and the importance of dealing with your regrets. I am so honored to have the Secret Regrets project be a part of this!

Bring the Secret Regrets LIVE tour to you!


I recently had the opportunity to present the Secret Regrets LIVE program to students at The University of Northern Iowa, and was overwhelmed by the welcome and response I received. At the end of my presentation, I invited students to anonymously text me their regrets, and then I read them aloud. It was a very powerful demonstration of the regrets we struggle with.  I would like to share a few of the comments students left with me:

  • “Thank you for giving me a chance to anonymously share my regret. I needed to say it — and hear it out loud.”
  • “Just hearing your presentation has changed my life. I feel so much better letting my regret out!”
  • “I read your first Secret Regrets book and loved it… can’t wait to read the second one. I really got me thinking about my life while reading it. I was having a hard time a while ago, and I found your Secret Regrets website on Google. It’s really crazy how I had the chance to actually hear you speak in person! Thanks!”
  • “Hearing you speak about Secret Regrets was an eye-opening experience and really helped me get past several regrets. Thank you so much!”
  • “I never realized admitting a regret could be so freeing. Thank you for reminding us that it’s important to remember that our experiences do not define us!”
  • “Thank you for inspiring me to move past my regrets and look towards a brighter future. “
  • “I really did feel better getting my regret off my chest. Thank you for providing that opportunity!”

Bring the Secret Regrets LIVE presentation to your college, community, organization or company. Contact  for more information.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: January 13, 2017

I’m sad that I wasn’t good enough for you to fight for. I’m sorry I wasn’t exactly the kind of wife you would have wanted but you weren’t exactly the kind of husband I expected either. Yet, I wanted to fight for you, for our kids, for our marriage. I did fight for you but it was a lonely fight . I just wasn’t worth it. I knew the tough times would come in our marriage and they did but I couldn’t fight that fight alone and you just weren’t interested. I’m sorry that I let myself get so frustrated with your selfishness, increasing distance and silence but you wouldn’t talk to me…ever.

Marriage takes effort on both parts. I regret being naïve enough to think you wanted the same kind of family life that I wanted. One that puts our children first until they are launched and then it’s our turn. One where we are our strongest allies, best friends and can talk about anything! That’s what killed our marriage the most, your silence and my frustration. It always takes two to keep a marriage going but you would never engage. I was never worth planning a date night for. I was never worth a surprise dinner after working a 12 hour day. Our sons and I were never worth as much as you were. I never wanted to be a nagging wife so I just did it myself and you let me. I regret that part the most. You should have wanted to be an engaged father but you never were. I don’t ever think you were in it for the long-haul. It’s too easy for you to walk away, walk away from your friends, walk away from your family, from a life you thought you wanted but in reality didn’t.

Responsibility has never been your strong point. Being a husband and father for you meant providing financially, but that’s where it ended. After all, that’s what your father did. But you are not your father and we all have the choice to follow our parents example or create a better life for our children. I regret not seeing that earlier.I regret not realizing how different we were before having children with you and building a life with you. I regret spoon feeding you when you were totally capable of doing things yourself. But I did because I loved you.

I regret wasting the last four years of my life while we have been separated hoping you would want your family back, But you don’t. I regret that my sons don’t have a hero every child deserves for their father . I hope you’re happy But I know longer care.

I hope someday you regret not trying harder, if not for me, for your sons.

Age 53, Female