SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 21, 2017

“I regret never having a silly, childish young relationship, I got pregnant at 17 to an older man and continued dating older men after that fell apart, I’m a sensitive, immature, daft weirdo, I crave someone the same, now I feel like I’m too old.”

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SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 20,2017

“I regret keeping my eyes blind and ignoring so many red flags that he…”

I regret having been a very abusive relationship for 1 year and letting him abuse me verbally & mentally nearly every day and making me cry nearly each time we were together. I regret keeping my eyes blind and ignoring so many red flags that he never even cared about me at all. If only I had had higher self esteem to make me realize that I deserve a much better person to be part of my life. That happened 10 years ago but I am still traumatized till now. If only I realized that being alone is much better than being in an abusive relationship.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 18, 2017

I regret allowing myself to sink into a deep hole of depression and loneliness. I never look forward to the weekend because I have absolutely no one to spend time with. I wish that I could work 7 days a week to keep myself busy. I’m so depressed. Sometimes, I have to lie to my family about hanging out with nonexistent friends just to seem normal. But, it’s always a struggle trying to form normal, healthy relationships with people. I was socially awkward as a child and nothing changed once I reached adulthood. I’ve lost hope. I feel that it’s my fault, although I never asked for my social life to turn out this way. I know life isn’t all about having people to socialize with, but it would be nice to have some company every now and then. I don’t ask for much.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 17, 2017

“I regret being so self involved that I wasn’t able to…”

My friend, whom I’ve always had a crush on, moved back home to taker care of her mother who’d been diagnosed with cancer. Her mother was undergoing chemo, and everyone was optimistic. I started seeing my friend regularly, and began to develop feelings for her. She insisted that it was not a good time for a relationship, but I forced the issue and we became romantically involved. When her mom started getting worse she began shutting me out. I had fallen in love with her by this time, so I didn’t handle it very well and said some pretty hurtful things that effectively ruined our relationship and friendship. Her mom started hospice a week later and died after a month. I regret being so self involved that I wasn’t able to understand what she was going through and be there for her as a friend when she really needed it. I have not felt the same about someone since.

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 16, 2017

I’m usually not hateful, but my anger…

“I regret befriending the wrong people. I wear my heart on my sleeve sometimes and let people take advantage of my kindness. Then, they get rid of me like trash once they get what they want or feel that I’m no longer useful. I regret being such a loving person towards them. I’m usually not hateful, but my anger is starting to worsen now and my patience is running very low. I hate them. I’m becoming vengeful and I regret letting them get me to this point.”

SECRET REGRETS September 15, 2017

I suffer from the imposter syndrome and I have spent my whole life on the outside looking in.

“I regret my entire life. My parents raised me to be a good little coward – totally obedient and ever afraid of judgement. I have always been intimidated by authority figures and anyone with a normal level of confidence could assume that stature and intimidate me.
For my first 47 years I was unconfident and angry until I spent two years getting anger management therapy. Now I’m not angry and somewhat more confident, but still not as confident as “normal” people.
I regret how I behaved as a result of all this. With the combination of anger and low self-esteem I was a pathetic, passive-aggressive asshole who became very good at sarcasm without realizing that my sarcasm was actually effective. I behaved, figuratively, as though I was going into a knife fight armed with a nerf-gun but not realizing that it was actually a real gun. So I’ve probably left a trail of either pissed off, confused or hurt people.
I’ve treated so many people like crap, including my wife, who is a wonderful woman who I don’t deserve.
The sad thing is that I have the basic qualities that should have allowed me to be more successful and happy in life: I’m reasonably intelligent, I’m fairly good looking and I’m tall, but my self-esteem is such that I have always gone through life with the ambition of surviving, never thriving. I was an officer in the military for 32 years but I never aimed to do well. I only aimed to not fail.
There are probably many, many people who think that I’m arrogant when the truth is that I don’t want to impose myself on them. I could meet people in a professional setting, who could be good friends, but can’t help but assume that they are simply tolerating me.
And now I’m 58 years old. I’ve done reasonably well materially (technically I’m part of the “1%”) but I am so unhappy. I suffer from the imposter syndrome and I have spent my whole life on the outside looking in. There’s also some mental illness in my family as well. I have a first cousin who is bipolar and I have siblings (I believe myself included) with some level of functioning mental illness.
So the great miracle that is sentient life has been wasted on me. I’ve got about another 25 years to go and I continue to look at that remaining time as something to survive and endure”

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 14, 2017

“It’s hard to look on the bright side of things when you live in the darkness of your own past…”

I regret treating someone like trash when I thought I deserved the best when the best has just walked into my life, now that I’ve realized that he was the best, its too late, he has changed because I was horrible to him I regret everything, if I had realized that he was everything at the time I wouldn’t have lost him, He wouldn’t have gotten away, I wouldn’t have spent the late nights of many months and years crying in my blankets that we used to lay in. After I lost him I lost all sense of purpose, this wasn’t just some fling it was it, and I ruined it. Towards the end, he would bring up many memories that weren’t pleasant and it would bring us both to tears and I would apologize and apologize, do everything I could to save us, but there was nothing else I could do… I held on for too long after he gave up, I didn’t know when to let go, I couldn’t just give up and just never see, touch, kiss or even look at him. It was as if he was dying and now I had to mourn someone who was still living. People who say that they don’t need a man to be happy, that’s right you need companionship, love, and support. For some, it comes in a form of a woman and some a man, but deep down we all need it, I need it. It’s hard to look on the bright side of things when you live in the darkness of your own past. It’s hard to move on, you never know what you had until its gone, you never knew it was true love until it walked away forever… I regret everything that left me with nothing.