I have 3 boys… 17, 15, & 14… My oldest has addiction problems with many of the roughest drugs out there and almost losing him 2yrs prior, my 15yr old has anger issues and was molested at 10yrs old by a former neighbour. Right now he is in temporary care with the Family Children Soceity receiving counselling for that and as well as anger! He had to be removed due to assaulting me twice and his younger brother multiple times. My youngest just seems to float around but does deal with OCD, ADHD, and Socially Anxiety! Otherwise he does pretty good!
There Father was living with me, even though we were separated for a few years! With the kids growing up and even now he is not really there so I play the Mum and Dad role and my own health problems that are quickly failing! I have been fighting and TRYING to help him change his route of drug addiction and severe anger and he blames my Ex and sometimes the things he says to me are very hurtfull and painful to hear!
My regret? I feel like I am the one who has made the mistakes and did SOMETHING wrong! I completly blame myself for their “issues” and problems! I don’t know what to think and how to respond! I have tried to end my life numerous times! I know it’s not the answer but my depression was severe and my health is fading fast!
Any advice will hopefully help…
After 30 yrs of being divorced from 1st husband & father of my children, I still regret getting the divorce. (Was married 11 yrs the first time.) Been remarried for over 25 yrs to a good man who has given me a good life. My regret is no reflection on him, my love for him or our marriage. It is apart from that and in spite of that. My reasons for divorcing weren’t good enough, the problems could have been fixed, I gave up, and the consequences are something me and our children, our grandchildren & my ex will always have to deal with. We’re friends, we get along well, but the divorce is a wound to my heart that will never completely go away and cannot be buried even by a good life now. For years, I kept waiting for the hurt to heal and finally realized it will always be there and is something I had to learn to live with. That is my punishment for the great sin of divorce without good enough cause. For anyone considering divorce, think, think and think again, do whatever you can to save your marriage. The grass isn’t greener and a second marriage isn’t easier. A second marriage and blended families are much more difficult to make work than the problems I thought were so unfixable in my first marriage. Had I worked half as hard in my first marriage as I have in my current marriage, there never would have been a divorce . Most people who divorce today do not have a good enough reason and over half, like me, regret their divorce. There’s a reason divorce is against God’s law and was once such a taboo. Divorce is a terrible thing. I realize there are exceptions and sometimes no recourse BUT divorce, and that is a completely different thing. But those cases are not nearly enough to account for the 50% divorce rate in the US. It’s a painful, life altering move that affects your life and that of your children FOREVER. If you can avoid it, do so. Except for those rare instances where divorce is justified, staying together through thick and thin, til death do you part IS the best thing.
I regret never telling you that I love you. Now you are gone……….I loved you so much but didn’t have the courage to come out of the closet. So I let.you go. Now I can’t tell you what you meant to me. You were an amazing man! And I miss you every day!
I regret buying into the lie at 18 that if I wanted to get into medical school I needed to go to a great university first instead of starting out at a less expensive community college. I regret choosing my dream school and accepting my enrollment there. The week before classes started, my financial aid fell through. I was left in a financial situation I had never faced before. I didn’t have a father to help pay for school or support me. My mother always did her best, but even she couldn’t afford to help me pay for school. So faced with taking out loans or not going to college at all (it was too late to accept other offers), I made the worst financial mistake of my life and chose loans. Now, graduated without any prospects of landing a job in this horrible market and still applying to medical schools, I am drowning. I have applied to hundreds of jobs, but without the right connections it doesn’t matter these days. I have never failed so miserably in my entire life, but that’s exactly how I feel, a failure. My loans have almost doubled with the insane interest rates, and even working 40hrs a week isn’t nearly enough to cover the payments. Because of this, I can’t afford to live on my own, or buy a car etc, and I feel like such a burden to my family. I should be helping take care of my family by now, not the other way around. I am a woman of faith, but I have never felt more hopeless. I regret that the weight of these loans have had me contemplating suicide. My faith in God has been the only thing holding me back, that and the guilt of what it would do to my mother. But I honestly don’t know how to get out of this hole. I wish someone had warned me not to sign my life away at 18. I wish I had been smarter, done more research. I had no clue, I thought I would graduate, get a good paying job, apply to med school, get in and take more loans, and become a doctor and pay them all off. I didn’t think and now, I have no idea how to fix this. F/25
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I regret not telling you how deeply I am in love with you back when I had the chance to. I regret letting my fears of you stop me from being there for you when you need me most. I honestly thought I was over any feelings I had for you it’s been 10 long years but seeing you recently has brought all the feeling back to light. I almost can’t handle it. I think about you all day everyday. I want to see you, hear you, feel you, hug you, and tell you how I truly feel about you, but it’s just to late. You are now a mother of 4 and living in another state with your own life doing so well for yourself and here I am with 5 kids and a husband I don’t love nearly as much as I do you. I regret not giving you everything the last time we talked it is so much deeper than I let you believe. I regret not telling you I am in love with all that you are and now it is just to late.
I regret not telling you the truth, that I don’t want to be with you anymore when we last had an argument. I regret thinking that I could make it work for the sake of our child because I can’t. I’m unhappy so unhappy but I feel like I have to make it work or I will upset your family and mine. If I had made the break earlier I could be happy now. I have fallen out of love with you and no matter how much I try, I can’t get those feelings back.
I regret not telling people how he hurt me
Now if he is hurting other people it’s my fault
I regret that I’ve never gotten the chance to apologize to you. I’ve always thought about how I broke things off with you back in high school. I was so afraid of my father, you have no idea. He caught me talking to you on the phone and threatened me. I never told you this because I was embarrassed. I waited for you, but the opportunity never seemed to present itself. I never got to tell you that the kiss we shared back in high school was my very first kiss. I often think about you and have dreamed about you as well. You were such a sweetheart. You didn’t deserve the heartache. We are now both married with kids of our own, but I just hope that you’re happy with her.
I regret not staying at your house to watch the movie. Instead we went back to my dorm room so I could work on homework. And I believe that night changed everything. I could have been with you. I recently moved somewhere to be with someone so he would never have to be the ‘what-if’ guy. I realize now that in choosing him over you, you have taken his place as the ‘what-if’ guy. And now, three years later, I regret that you stopped speaking to me because I was with him. Letting you go was my biggest mistake ever… F/23