“I regret watching the disappointment I’ve become from the sidelines, like there isn’t anything I can do to stop it.”
I regret staying in the relationship I’m currently in. I regret internalizing every negative comment he makes, every name he calls me, every nasty thing he says to me. I regret not leaving him because of our child, I don’t know why i think I can change him or believe him when he says he will change. I regret sitting at home blaming myself when he’s out “doing him”, because I know exactly what he’s doing. I regret wasting 7 years of my life on a man who doesn’t even deserve 1. I regret not listening to my mom when she tells me that I deserve better because i know she’s right. I regret not having the courage or the strength to walk away. I regret a lot of things, but mostly I regret not loving myself enough to know better.
“A little less than a year ago i was driving home late at night (no street lights) when i accidentally hit a lady who was laying in the road. Cops said it wasn’t my fault, she was most likely hit by someone else who took off. But from the second i got out and realized what i had done, the guilt will stay with me forever. The first couple of months were the hardest. After finding out every detail about this woman i could from her young daughter (and mom who had lost a son as well some years ago) and listening to everyone tell me its not my fault and i should just get past it, i kinda did for a while. After the first couple months went by, things kinda settled down … until recently i happened to be driving down the same road as i had done countless times before when i swear i saw her laying there again. i froze as it all came back to me. now i cant sleep, and when i do i have nightmares and ive started to zone out at random times. It replays in my mind and it’s all i think about now. The guilt and shame is all consuming.”
“Today is my 21st wedding anniversary and he forgot about it. I’ve been so lonely for years, I can’t even put it into words. Two months into our marriage I asked him if we should divorce because he was withdrawn and uninterested in spending time with me. He convinced me it was just new marriage jitters. We’ve had some good times and at one point I had hope which led to our two wonderful children. But the lonely times far exceed the good and it devastates me that we’re modeling marriage this way for our children. He had an affair. We’ve been to counseling, and while it helped him be less passive aggressive and me be more outspoken about my needs, it did nothing to rekindle love. He stopped going to counseling and seems content to live as roommates. I’m going along for the sake of our kids who would be heartbroken to have their family torn apart. I don’t trust him and believe he is having an affair again. If I could do it all over again, I would have left two months into it.”
“My biggest regret is getting married to an emotional abusive man. A narcissist. We dated from the time I was 13, he was 16. Even as we dated, there were more tears, than happiness. I could never break up with him, because he would emotional draw me back in. He would say he was going to kill himself, without me. Couldn’t live without me. He also was very insecure and possessive of me. If I talked to another boy, he was mad. Very mad. But would also cry and tell me he knew I was going to leave him. He took me from my friends and was mad if I ever I to do anything with them. I quit sports, because he couldn’t stand the time it took away from him and he always thought iwas cheating on him, when we were away for sports. Or really anytime I wasn’t with him. Somehow, we got married and had children. And aside from our children, I wish I’d I never married him. It’s been 25 years. And I still want to leave. And he STILL says he’ll kill himself.”
“My biggest regret is speaking out.
I have been sexually assulted for over a year by my ex boyfriend. I had always planned on abstinence and was hurt when in the end I didnt get that. But I stayed with him and kept it all to myself. Now I am in the army and one day after it happened again I cried to a friend of mine who told a higher up in my company. I was asked if I wanted to file a report and I said no. Later when that higher up came to me, he tricked me into saying it wasn’t consensual thus he filed the report for me. Taking the situation out of my hands and having an investigation start without my consent. Which to me is just as bad as the charges placed on my ex. Now they are pursuing rape charges on him and I am stuck here without my best friend and not being allowed to talk to him or see him. His whole life is ruined because I said anything to begin with. Our whole life is ruined. I still love him, and it is fucked up that I only realize it now.
I wish I never opened my mouth.”
“I regret the times I was a monster, a bully, a manipulator. I regret believing so often, that the situation was at fault, not me. I regret that my sons have to live with the consequences of my being a great mom one day, and a monster the next, an equation that equals: bad mother. I regret not being able to find a way to destroy the monster in me. I regret clinging to my regret. I regret not being able to find the courage to tell people who like me now, just how bad a monster I was. I regret living this current life, this lie, where I can’t tell my story because it’s not just my story, but for still wanting to, planning to, writing in secret, selfishly, for the slim hope explaining things from my perspective offers of my own redemption. I regret that my motives are still those of the monster, still selfish. I regret wanting relief from hating myself, when I don’t deserve it. I regret wanting redemption, no matter the seriousness crime, in the form of a close relationship with my sons. For wanting everyone to get over it so I can. I regret, seriously regret the things I did that resulted in my doing a life sentence away from them. They are right to distance themselves from me. I regret not really meaning what I just wrote. The truth is, deep down, the monster believes she has been tried unfairly, circumstantially, and has not been given a chance to point to the situation as the real culprit that destroyed our bonds. I hate that by saying that I’m making excuses. I regret not changing, not really, not deep down where the monster lives.” (woman, 59)
“I regret snooping. I got the answers I wanted, but I regret I had to go behind your back to do it. I feel shame and guilt for what I did, but I’m furious that I’ve been lied to. She’s toxic and manipulative, but you’ll always love her more than me. And I hate it.” F/30
“I regret succumbing to temptation, curiosity and loneliness, and had sex with you. It was the best ever but whenever I have sex with my partner, I think of you. I hurts to know that you are sleeping with other people and I was just one of many. And you have moved on while I have not. We started the fire but you left me to burn in it.”
“I regret not being mature and man enough to fight for you. I let a controlling and clinically depressed mother destroy us. After so many years, I still play the sound of your voice in my head. I miss our brutally honest talks and how that made us realize we were soul mates. We are both married and have moved on. I remember how sad we both were when we knew it was going to end and we talked about a reunion in Hawaii for some years after our inevitable break up. How sad.
My secret is that I think about you often,. I miss and still love you. You will always be the love of my life. I feel constant guilt about keeping that from my wife. Shes a good woman and a great mother.
Forgive me but I just love you still.”