I regret having 2 abortions. The father was a really nice guy, but at the time I was embarrassed to be seen with him. The choice was ours to do this, but it was heartbreaking to have done something like this. Looking back I would rather have kept the babies and just love them. It is almost impossible to forgive myself. I say “almost” impossible because I am told I can forgive myself, but I do not know how. To me, this was the worst thing I ever did, yet here I am alive and not them. It just isn’t right. I hope posting here will help me forgive myself for such a horrible thing. I was too young to make a smart decision. I need to live again, and forgive myself. It has been 40 years… of torture inside me.