Today’s Secret Regret

I regret having 2 abortions. The father was a really nice guy, but at the time I was embarrassed to be seen with him. The choice was ours to do this, but it was heartbreaking to have done something like this. Looking back I would rather have kept the babies and just love them. It is almost impossible to forgive myself. I say “almost” impossible because I am told I can forgive myself, but I do not know how. To me, this was the worst thing I ever did, yet here I am alive and not them. It just isn’t right. I hope posting here will help me forgive myself for such a horrible thing. I was too young to make a smart decision. I need to live again, and forgive myself. It has been 40 years… of torture inside me.

2 thoughts on “Today’s Secret Regret

  1. I am sincerely sorry for your losses. Society sells abortion as an “easy” fix when we find ourselves unintentionally pregnant. Nothing could be further from the truth. Upwards of 20% of women suffer from post-abortion syndrome after having an abortion. Women who have had abortions have increased risks for miscarriages, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and even suicide. It is time to put politics aside and discuss the psychological damage a significant number of women have after having an abortion. I’m not saying whether or not abortion should be legal, I’m just saying that we need to help those who hurt after the fact. Otherwise, those that suffer are marginalized and made to feel like their pain and misery are illegitimate and unwarranted. Walking the path of irreversible regret is anything but marginal and illegitimate.

    While I have never had an abortion, I do know what it is like to hate myself. Everyone deserves a chance to feel whole again. I was able to attend a presentation from the founder of this website today (10/7) and he said something important. It was to the effect that we must not allow our regrets to define us as a person. You are seeking healing, and I have one friend that was able to find a pathway to healing. While she still has deep regrets about her abortion (after decades), she has been able to reclaim her life. Please visit the following website: . You deserve the chance to forgive yourself. Down the road, you may wish to share your story with those considering abortion by participating in the sidewalk interventions that stand in front of abortion facilities: . While you cannot go back and change your choices, you can help at least one other person from making the same mistake. Helping someone else in a similar situation can make all the difference.


  2. I too had an abortion 40+ years ago. Not a single day has gone by that I haven’t thought about the little boy I killed. I was 19 and didn’t know what else to do. The father was married to someone else and he didn’t want me or our baby. I didn’t love him enough to have his child. And I have hated myself ever since. I understand your feelings.


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