Today’s Secret Regret

“Today is my 21st wedding anniversary and he forgot about it. I’ve been so lonely for years, I can’t even put it into words. Two months into our marriage I asked him if we should divorce because he was withdrawn and uninterested in spending time with me. He convinced me it was just new marriage jitters. We’ve had some good times and at one point I had hope which led to our two wonderful children. But the lonely times far exceed the good and it devastates me that we’re modeling marriage this way for our children. He had an affair. We’ve been to counseling, and while it helped him be less passive aggressive and me be more outspoken about my needs, it did nothing to rekindle love. He stopped going to counseling and seems content to live as roommates. I’m going along for the sake of our kids who would be heartbroken to have their family torn apart. I don’t trust him and believe he is having an affair again. If I could do it all over again, I would have left two months into it.”

2 thoughts on “Today’s Secret Regret

  1. I feel for you. It does sound like he is having another affair and he is getting his needs met there, while leaving you feeling unloved and lonely. With that in mind, you may want to make plans to protect yourself and your children if you decide to divorce. Adultery is certainly a qualification for divorce. If you take this course, don’t let him know. Get set up quietly. Another way of getting his attention is TOTALLY ignoring his interests and develop your hobbies or activities you enjoy. Currently, he is likely used to you mulling over him. Guys only pay attention when you ignore them.
    Change the script. He’s going to wonder why you are not paying him any attention. Get a new hairstyle or wardrobe and go out with friends. In other words, do the opposite of what you’ve been doing. If he is a narcissist, he thinks he’s the victim. Read up on narcissism. Lastly, be encouraged and know that you deserve to be loved by a faithful husband. He will reap what he sows.

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  2. It’s not too late to start afresh. You have to think of your own life. You deserve to be treated well, or to live alone on your own terms.

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