SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: January 13, 2018

My mother recently passed away from cancer and I was her primary care giver. She spent her last three weeks alive in the hospital and every time they talked about letting her out I had a gut feeling that she shouldn’t come home. The last time they talked about releasing her she was going to come home on a nutrition iv and I would be trained in hooking up the bags and such. I am going to college for nursing so all of this was right up my ally, however, I didn’t want to do this. I had given up much of the first 2 Year’s of my 20’s to take care of my mom. I have cleaned up her bathroom accidents, given her injections, and unhooked her chemo from her port at home, but hooking up an iv to a bag seemed so overwhelming and I didn’t want to do it. I would now do anything to go back and hook her up to her iv to have her back here with me. My mom passed away 2 days after they wanted to release her on the nutrition iv. She passed away one week before Christmas and 2 1/2 weeks before my 23rd birthday. I wish I could go back and would be willing to hook her up to the bags. I know it wouldn’t have changed the outcome since she passed before she even got released, just wish I would’ve been willing to do that one last thing for her.

Female age 23

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5 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: January 13, 2018

  1. I have terminal cancer but am not in final stages yet. It sounds like you did all you could for your mom, and I’m sure she appreciated everything you did, and didn’t fault you when you just couldn’t do that last thing. Finish up pursuing your nursing career and take good care of your patients in her honor. You are very young, and you did way more than most would expect.

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  2. We lost my mum after a 5.year battle with cancer. I had regrets too and wish I could go back and have done alot more. I know my boss felt that way about his parents too. It goes to show how we all gravitate toward saving our own life. But Jesus said that’s what we do and so we must be “born again”; this time by his Spirit, and made in his image (completely selfless). God bless you, I hope this is an encouragement.

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  3. My mother was RN so knew medicine. Had 2 radical mastectomies when I was far away in school, newly married, early 20’s. As only child, I was expected to drop my life to attend to her. She smoked heavily before surgery and never stopped. I did not come. Her mother cared for her. Decades later, after continuing to smoke, she knew she had lung cancer and did nothing, told no one. We had moved back to town. After couple years passed doing nothing, she called in middle of night telling us she could not breathe and come take her to ER. 5 minutes after arriving, I had to take medical power and permit a tracheostomy because it had metastasized to her throat. Numerous weeks of hell followed. She lost ability to speak and was fitted w/artificial voice box. It spent almost all time taped to wall over her bed. Hospital not equipped. She was sent home. I took FMLA to stay home. She expected me to quit my job, move in with her and suction her trach 20 times a day. Horrible. I got no training and was not in medicine. She couldn’t/wouldn’t eat except tapioca, jello. I slept on sofa, at beck and call all nite so she wouldn’t drown. Could only maintain about 3 weeks. Moved her to intensive care center. They were incapable of this, put her in ward, not room. Took her to ER every day. She refused hospice. Died several days later. I regret nothing. She did it all to herself. Mothers are capable of putting daughters thru hell, enjoying it all, feeling they deserve the right.

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  4. Sorry to hear of your loss. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You did the best that you could at the time. I’m sure your mom would be so grateful for your love and care that you gave her.

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