“I regret ever becoming a parent. We adopted our daughter at a young age from another country. We had this romantic notion that we could make someone’s life better, give them the chance they wouldn’t have had, give someone a family, and a home. We thought we could make a difference. I was wrong. I am in shock in how little impact we have had.

I should have never been her parent, apparently I don’t have the patience or fortitude for it. Everything we do seems to be for nothing. She is a source of grief and stress in our family. There is no joy in her and I am deeply resentful of her because of it. She is most comfortable when she is miserable and she makes those around her miserable. She never fully trusted us nor really became part of the family. She saps our resources and gives nothing but heartache in return. She has impaced our lives for the worse. I knew parenting would be hard, especially with an adopted child, what I did not know is that there would be no reward in it. I don’t know if I love her, I have very few positive feelings towards her. I do know that I don’t like her. I hate myself for failing this way and not being big enough to overcome all of these odds. I have never worked so hard at something only to feel totally inept. I resent her for fighting us in everything we try to give her and help her with. I hope to just get through it. If I had it to do all over again, I would have never been a parent.” F43


5 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: August 18, 2017

  1. Depending on how old she was when she was adopted she could have experienced emotional or physical abuse. I myself am adopted from another country as well and I am beyond great for it. I wonder if counseling would help. I’m sorry it did not turn out how you thought it woulda d I do hope it gets better.


  2. Sorry to hear about it.Remember that sometimes biological parents also have a terrible time with their children, even when they are excellent parents. Sometimes, it’s just blind luck. It also depends on how old she was when you adopted her.If she was older she may be full of resentment for being taken away from her culture and her country, It’s possible.Family therapy may help. Hang in there and I hope things get better soon.


  3. That’s so sad but doesn’t mean you can’t build a bond. Depending on age the poor child probably experienced so much abuse. Children are very good and sensing things and whether you are biological or not all parents go through the same thing even with their own biological kids. I did my little girl I try so hard and sometimes you don’t get that love back but then other days makes up for it. She will grow up to adore you hang in there this is completely normal. Nobody ever writes a parenting book on how hard things are as its all a complete show on media. This is real real life and believe me it gets easier x x


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