“I regret ever becoming a parent. We adopted our daughter at a young age from another country. We had this romantic notion that we could make someone’s life better, give them the chance they wouldn’t have had, give someone a family, and a home. We thought we could make a difference. I was wrong. I am in shock in how little impact we have had.
I should have never been her parent, apparently I don’t have the patience or fortitude for it. Everything we do seems to be for nothing. She is a source of grief and stress in our family. There is no joy in her and I am deeply resentful of her because of it. She is most comfortable when she is miserable and she makes those around her miserable. She never fully trusted us nor really became part of the family. She saps our resources and gives nothing but heartache in return. She has impaced our lives for the worse. I knew parenting would be hard, especially with an adopted child, what I did not know is that there would be no reward in it. I don’t know if I love her, I have very few positive feelings towards her. I do know that I don’t like her. I hate myself for failing this way and not being big enough to overcome all of these odds. I have never worked so hard at something only to feel totally inept. I resent her for fighting us in everything we try to give her and help her with. I hope to just get through it. If I had it to do all over again, I would have never been a parent.” F43