SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: August 10, 2017

My biggest regret is allowing myself to stay in a 12 year marriage. At the time I had no idea what a narcissist was. Sadly, now I know ALL too well. This man who I loved above all else, managed to teak me down little by little, and it got to the point where I wouldn’t speak for fear of saying the wrong thing. Nothing was good enough. I could ever win. At that time I was devastated by how fast it all happened. After that marriage ended, yes I felt free, but now I am left with crippling insecurities. Am I pretty enough? Am I interesting enough? Do I pull my weight in this relationship? I have so much leftover anxiety from my first marriage, I fear I’m carrying it into my current marriage. For me the saddest part is that subconciously, I still feel not good enough. When will that stop?!

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2 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: August 10, 2017

  1. You have PTSD. Go seek some professional help. I am now getting out of a similar relationship of just one and a half years. I can’t get out fast enough. I do love him but I am not the same person I was before we married. It started slowly but now it’s all I do can do to get out of bed. Yes he does wonderful things for me, takes me on vacations, buys me jewelry, he loves to go shopping (always buying the clothes he likes for me but never getting to pick my own) but in the end. . . .never being right, saying the wrong things, not seeing my friends, going to bed when he says and getting up when he says, only his friends are good enough for me, constantly needing to know where I am, not seeing my family or grandbabies as much as I would like to is not worth the things he can buy me. I’m out and I will never go back. You are good enough, you are smart enough, you are pretty enough, you are wonderful! Go seek help to get you over the long stretch of negativity. I promise it will help. L.

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