SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: April 23, 2017

My biggest regret is how I treated a woman in my life. There was a girl that I secretly really liked, and if I had just been a better person we might have at least have been good friends. Instead, I made an extremely vile, violent sexual comment about her that she overheard. (I still remember word-for-word what I said, but I can’t say it here.) At the time, I justified it to myself by saying I was putting on a persona to be edgy, but there really was no excuse in the end for me to have said it in the first place. I don’t think I realized the gravity of what I had done for a few days at first. I remember, desperately and immaturely, trying to talk to her and “fix” things until someone told me that I had to not try to inject myself into the equation, and wait until she was ready/if she was ready. I saw her every so often afterwards over the course of about 3 years, but she never spoke to me again. She just wanted to forget I existed. I wanted to forget I existed. That should tell you how bad what I said was; there are some things that you say or do where you just can’t put humpty dumpty back together again. It’s been about 10 years since that day, and I just can’t stop thinking about how bad I feel, the pain I caused her, and how things might have been different had I actually chosen to be a good person…

26/m

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