I regret not coming out as transgender in high school. Granted, I didn’t have the words to describe what I was at the time, but I had so many friends that would have understood. Maybe if I had come out to my parents in high school, they wouldn’t have been so confused. Maybe they wouldn’t have blamed themselves or me or said the things that they did that led to where we are now. Maybe I would have had a collective of friends to usher me in lovingly with things like “it’s going to be okay”, or “there’s nothing wrong with you”. Maybe things would have eventually just fallen into what’s going on now. My mom has all but disowned me, my dad won’t even speak of it at all. I have few friends left, I have withdrawn to a more solitary lifestyle. I don’t really feel like I want to have many people close anymore, but I always just wonder how things could have been different.

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