Growing up, my mother was angry, scary and punitive to me but not to my two siblings. She lied to me all the time. Her most important priority was keeping up appearances. I made so many efforts to try to get close to her by telling her what I was thinking. She retained the stuff I said and at later times when she was angry, she’d bring up stuff and twist it to make me feel terrible. When I was in my 30s, she had cancer and died after being sick for three years. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t regret asking her what motivated her to treat me the ways she did.