SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: October 10, 2016

I regret being the last one left. My brother died when I was not quite fifteen,my sister died when I was twenty three. Both accidental shootings. I’ve tried to be there for my parents, but I’m a pale comparison indeed. I regret the pain my parents went through, still go through. I don’t regret how my mom keeps my sisters memory alive, on Facebook and in her life even twenty years after her death but I very much regret she has to, her sadness immeasurable. I regret the emptiness every holiday, I regret not being able to talk to them, laugh with them, go see my parents with them. I regret my brother was buried on my birthday, I regret my birthday. I regret not being able to take their places and give those two rays of sunshine another chance to beam. I would trade with either one to see those big grins on my parents faces again,so that my niece’s and nephews could grow up with a dad, so my sister could grow up and get married, so my mom could have her best friend back. She was moms daughter but they were also best friends. I regret getting up with a heavy heart everyday and being around people. I regret I’m supposed to be being a man yet still falling on my knees in tears like a bitch when I’m in private and alone. It’s so hard to shop for presents and thinking” OK,what would we have got for them together?” Shopping is so hard, I always thought it would get easier but it never does, I regret that too. Male, age 46

One thought on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: October 10, 2016

  1. It is never to late to seek bereavement counselling to help you cope with the devastating and unexpected loss of your siblings. Remember, men grieve, too! It’s natural. There are many people who understand bereavement and would be willing to help you. I am sure your siblings would not want you suffering like this. Please take care of yourself. My very best wishes to you.


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