I regret living so many years without the one. You know, The One. That person that made every other relationship seem like shadows. I have had one child in that time, a son. I love him dearly. But I have now lived nearly twenty years for him; I have not woken once in that time glad to be alive. I find myself unable to end my life because a parent’s suicide is not a legacy I can leave my son with. So every day I get up, I go through the motions, even the social side of life. Then the temporary relief of sleep. Sometimes even sleep is no escape. I have this dream where she’s there with me. Just with me, sleeping next to me. For a moment when I wake I believe she is still with me; then reality crashes down on me. All I know is this: There is nothing in this universe so cold and empty as being forced to endure without the one person you cannot live without. It is pain beyond measure.

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