I regret pretending to be happy. I regret lying to everyone and not showing them how I really feel. What I am scared about is getting the pity party. That is the last thing I want let alone need right now. When I lay in bed at the end of the day, everything comes together and I have that dirty little thought of not belonging. I want, no need someone just to hold me and tell that I matter. My mom says he will find his way… Do I need to draw a map because everyday is just getting worse.