SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: February 21, 2016

I regret not letting you know how I feel about you. Things have changed so much over the past 7 years. I’m not the same person and neither are you. You are supposed to be my father but you try so hard to avoid any activity that has to do with you being a 2016_01_Life-of-Pix-free-stock-photos-glass-cocktail-red-LEEROYparent. You never went to any of my concerts even though you had the time. Instead, you sat at the bar. You were only at my open house because there was an open bar. You got drunk at my wedding reception. You didn’t help me move into my first house. Now, you don’t even seem to care that I’m moving across the country.

I regret not letting you know that I’ve lost all respect for you after what you put me through.  I regret letting you get away with the way you treat me. I regret getting upset but still forgiving you and letting you do the same things over and over.

But most of all, I regret that I can’t keep up our relationship if you aren’t going to try, and I don’t think you’ll try after I move.

One thought on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: February 21, 2016

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your post shows that you are learning how to set the personal boundaries needed to stop this toxic cycle. You have realized that the solutions you have been trying are not working. Once all is forgiven, the cycle starts over and your father repeats his past behavior.

    The best action you can take is the one you already have. Establish boundaries. Don’t blame yourself for his lack of trying. He is clearly fighting his own demons and addictions. He may genuinely want to be present in your life, but his addiction wins out. Addictions have an evil way of altering an addict’s perception of what’s important.

    We don’t have to respect people that have hurt us. We don’t even have to like them. We just have to show them compassion.


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