SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: January 13, 2016

I regret leaving my wife for another. I regret ever thinking that I could love another person the way I did her. I regret coming up with fake things to blame her for during our divorce. I regret not sticking through the hard times and being there for her and instead jumping ship the first chance I got. Now I am stuck in a relationship because I know I can never fix what I have done and don’t want to change things again on my children. I dream about her every night and I don’t know what to do. I wish I could go back in time and get my best friend back, and have a better life for my kids. I wish I could tell me ex how I feel but I know it wouldn’t make anything better, but I wish she knew how sorry I was instead of doing everything I can to make her upset her to keep her as far as I can from myself. She is happy now and it would be selfish of me to rock her boat at all when I ruined our lives once already. I have someone who loves me now as well but I will never be happy; just stuck and secretly wishing I was with my ex and had my family back.

5 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: January 13, 2016

  1. This is why we need to think about the things carefuly before we doing them when it comes to somehing that can affect the rest of our lives and those around us. I sympathise with u hunny… I was in a position of decision myself and chose to push further on and tr once again to make it work and have faith in his words etc. after xmas i realized that once again it may very well have been nothing but one more pipe dream…one never knows how things will turn out till its done. I wish u strength… We all make mistakes …if u try to be more honest and confess urself to her u never know… Maybe all she needs to hear is ur honesty… Like they say…all u can do is try..at least then ull know u tried and clear ur own conscience for urself

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  2. I am that woman left on the sinking boat, frantically bailing to stay afloat for the sake of my children , while you found rescue on another woman’s vessel. When you jumped ship the air left my lungs. I was and am still terrified of what will come. I am trying to hold it together for my kids. I may appear happy. I put on a brave face. I am slimmer and fitter since you left. I am stronger. I am trying to move on. I try not to think about you, but I think about you everyday. I worry about you. I loved and cared for you for a very long time, that will take a long time to stop doing. I want nothing but the best for you, always have. You made a huge mistake. You’ve lost your relationship with your daughter. Your son no longer considers you his best friend. You didn’t think it through. We may have had marital problems. Every marriage does. The biggest problem with our marriage was extra marital. You brought that on. What you will find if you reach out to me is that I am very forgiving.

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  4. Start by apologizing. If you can’t do it in person, write her a letter apologizing for being selfish and putting your needs ahead of hers and your kids, for not thinking of the fall out your actions would have on your wonderful children and for sticking her with the sole responsibility of raising your kids alone. You may not get her back but hopefully you can get your kids and your self respect back enough to look yourself in the mirror and feel you still have some integrity left to build on. Then, be the father you should have been without having to be asked. “Think” about what they might need from you and then “do” that so she doesn’t have to. Are they turning 16 soon and need to learn to drive? Offer to teach them and buy the drivers handbook so they can study. Find out from the school (yes, just pick up the phone and call) how they are fairing with their grades and find a way to help them if they are struggling). If they are older, just get involved in their lives!! There is never an excuse for any man (or woman) not to be involved in every aspect of their families lives except for selfishness and lack of effort. You have missed so much that you won’t get back and you shouldn’t expect that it will be an easy road but if you quit because it’s hard, like you did on your wife the first time, you will live the rest of your life with regret knowing you weren’t a strong enough man to be a good father or husband and there is no coming back from that. Make your kids proud of you before it’s too late.

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