SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: December 10, 2015

I regret not going out enough in high school and wasting my time on video games. Not meeting any girls nor going out with anyone, feels like I’ve spent my high school life on wasted unuseful things. In addition, I regret asking out the crush I have just now after 2.5 years of being with her in the same class and not talking with her at all instead of asking her after 2 months. Feels like I’ve thrown 2.5 years. I’m currently in the end of my last year in high school trying now to recover what I’ve lost. I’m trying to go out more with friends maybe it will help me get some more associations and friendships with girls. I don’t wanna end my high school life with the fact that I never went out with girls and with friends which led to the fact I’m still virgin. Even a kiss I still haven’t had…
I really regret it…
Male – 17 years old

6 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: December 10, 2015

  1. You are being far too short sighted and much too critical of yourself. Much like yourself, I spent a great deal of my supposed childhood locked away in a “glass box”, only looking out once in a blue moon to see the hinted activities of the collective “humanity”. I like yourself now, questioned my own motives deeply, I wondered if during my never ending pursuit of finding “personal solace” did I distance myself too far? Will I ever be able to find my way back to an emotional understanding of society I wondered.

    It wasn’t until later that through much more life experience; I realized that humans are so very flawed. We are most flawed in how we relate to others especially, I dare say the idea of “true friendship”, “true companionship”, or the more fabled “true Love” is hard to find these days… For example, to describe my life, one merely needs to imagine me as the figurative lone “moth” flying through the moonlit night and then represent my interaction with people as the “burning torch” in the darkness of the night. I enjoy the warmth the flame brings, yet, by the same token, I realize that at some point that warmth quickly becomes me being “engulfed in flames” or in other words my emotions are being ignored or worse openly attacked.

    This is a powerful realization to make. If we approach, we will of course be burned, so… should we stay away or accept the fact that we will possibly be emotionally hurt to the point beyond repair? This is no easy choice to consider and not one to take lightly either. I also firmly believe that there is no correct choice to this decision. I can see maybe some finding a glimmer of the “fabled relationship” that can endure the hardships, yet, I can also see many finding contentment in being mostly alone as well.

    Now the only question left is what will you do? Will you resume your pursuit of “personal solace” as I have? or will you try to satisfy those who may never try to return what you offer them? What is it that you think they can offer you anyways? Think carefully about these questions, self analysis and personal wisdom is the only true gifts that mostly come free in our broken society anymore. All of my statements are only reflective of my life experiences, I ultimately cannot hope to speak for you or the entirety that is this website.

    You most likely witnessed brilliant minds portrayed as art, done so with dazzling lights called pixels within a TV screen. You must not take your years of gaming for granted, you gained more philosophical knowledge than your able to realize right now. You were not merely wasting away your years hopefully, but, instead being exposed to hidden wisdom that you overlooked in childhood. Instead of looking forward to a “idealistic future” why not instead first return to your past and see what you were unable to grasp then? You may find the answers you need at this pivot able moment you are now faced with in your life.

    Just know you do not have to resolve yourself to the “torch” to find personal happiness. In my opinion, most are far too self absorbed these days, they will take what they can receive of you and in a trance like state, they will walk away without you on some “unknown path” that they believe will make for an “idealistic destination”. It takes a wise person to know that they have already failed, they will never reach it, the idealist path would have included bringing all of their new found potential companions too (much like those instances shown in the rpg’s of old) and yet they continue on despite this fact, in a solemn facade that is denial….

    They are in denial of all the people they have or will hurt in their lifetimes. All the unanswered promises/apologies/phone calls that never were atoned for, how very sad it all is to realize that few human beings possess true “depth perception”. The uncanny ability to see what lies beyond the mere “surface of the pond” called human emotions. It is for these reasons, that these individuals are truly the ones who are lost, not you or I. That is the reason we are doomed to be alone sadly as well, we try so hard to help people greatly, only to be mostly forgotten and dismissed in the end…

    Anyways, I hope your fate is not mine and that you do ultimately find what what you are looking for. I on the other hand, am resolved to continue to live everyday, aday at a time. I lost patience for trying to wake people up to the fact of how un-passionate they are in the absurdities of everyday living. In the end, it matters little, were all destined to just be another stone slab in a cemetery somewhere, only then when nearing that point do we realize that the only real thing that ever mattered was legacy. Did we ever try to leave any kind of legacy? For these current generations, I pity them when I say they lack concrete ideals of what building a lasting “legacy” is…

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  2. Hi, I’m writing first to the poster above.
    I see you are an idealist, and it is quite hard to be one in this world.. Yet, on the rare occasions I find myself alone, or sometimes surrounded by nature, I can’t stop thinking that this perfect arrangement of the matter must have purpose, this incredible expenditure of energy in order for life to go on, to break the barriers of nothingness, must have a purpose, and that anything against this purpose will eventually be defeated by this unnamed force that finds itself a way, even in the hardest conditions, like atomic wars, draught, flood..and since everything works so perfectly in nature, life must have a meaning and a purpose. Since love is the closest emotion that leads to creation and survival, since destruction and hate never seem to win in the end, we must love each other and try to make this world better. Even if we are so different on the outside, even if religion, boarders, skin color, illness, social status seem to separate us, we are still so alike, we could have been born anyone, anywhere, we didn’t choose our destiny. We are brothers, we all form a huge being that seems to self-destruct. You are right, some people see the world from a very narrow angle, maybe they do not judge in terms of evolution, maybe their instinct of survival and individuality is still too powerful..who knows why, maybe hardships of life, of childhood.. But I think that, if in the future humankind will continue to exist, and will not self destruct through materialism and commercial, people of the future will love.. maybe there will be a time for love.. when people will finally wake up.. and connect to everything around them, and care. I cannot see beyond the matter, but I would bet that there is more. All this incredibly smart machine, nature, must have other patterns too, still unseen, still unknown, and like this matter is never lost, it only transforms, so does the energy, and maybe so do our thoughts and emotions after we die. And maybe your love wasn’t in vain, maybe it just made someone’s life better, and they will one day remember.. like a small wave of goodness in a huge sea of darkness. Someone felt it and it gave him or her a bit of hope.
    Please, try not to be bitter. I understand you perfectly, I know how it is to be disappointed, taken advantage of, being promised things and then dismissed, like garbage, like you never existed. Please, don’t try to hate, just never forget. Just think that with an ounce, you made the world better and maybe..those persons will remember your goodness in times of hardship and despair.

    To the boy of 17.. I know it’s hard to take advice from someone you don’t even know. But.. I wanted to tell you something. It doesn’t matter at all what anyone thinks about you. Please, try not to care about how anyone sees you, but yourself. I’m glad you still have the chance to do what you wanted. Please, keep dreaming. Make a list of goals, things you would like to accomplish – like go to that college, become..that job you dream of. Take care of yourself, don’t do something you don’t want only to please other people or be accepted. I know you don’t do this, but remember that real strenght is being true to yourself no matter what that may mean. Please try to stay true to yourself. Nothing is impossible if you really want. You are so young and you have this advantage. As long as you don’t care what the others think, and you follow your dreams, things can’t go wrong.

    To everyone: whenever you feel sad, try making someone’s life better without thinking about your gain from that. Even if the people you help will treat you badly after this, you will feel better and you will be stronger from this. Who knows if, or when will we be given the opportunity to be here on Earth again, to have a body, to exchange emotions, energy, to simply enjoy a summer evening breeze? No one knows how long they live and there are people right now who would give all they have for one more month of life. Think of how rich we are and how happy we should be.

    Sorry for all the cliché things I wrote. Sorry if I wrote to much.

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    Like

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