SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: November 9, 2015

I regret looking through your phone bill without telling you and keeping it from you even now, even though you were the one to tell me to make your account viewable online.

I became addicted…checking out who you were talking to, although we were not exclusive, and scrutinizing the numbers you frequently called…sometimes calling those numbers privately to see who they were.

Now when you’re on the phone, talking or texting, I wonder if it is any of the past females you dated while we were in the beginning stages, or if it’s your baby’s mom, or if you’re being shady. I am tempted to check your statements again, but will not.

Checking them all those times before made me so apprehensive, jumping to conclusions, nosey, prone to making accusations, suspicious and every other negative feeling you can have, towards the one person I loved.

Trust is supposed to be a foundation between two people who care about each other. I guess I really regret it all because it made me realize…I don’t really trust you at all…everything everyone tells me is so heart wrenching, but when we’re together, all the bad goes away. I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your heart, I hear it in your voice that you’re telling the truth…why can’t I make myself believe you though?

I love you…you need to help me get over this…I hope I don’t regret not leaving your side.


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