SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: October 16, 2015

I regret the ways in which I’ve ruined my entire life in the last month. I regret being foolishly careless, and the unplanned pregnancy that resulted. I regret directing my internal resentment toward the mother to be, my ex. I regret being with someone who chooses not to abort. I regret this worthless degree which prevents me from finding a job. I regret my inability to make my dreams come true. I regret not being strong enough to take my own life.

Male/22

8 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: October 16, 2015

  1. In my 50s, I can maybe give you a little perspective. We are all passionate, sexual human beings and can make careless mistakes. Make some peace with her choice not to abort. It’s a different issue than whether or not you guys can establish a working relationship. Who knows, maybe that kid will be amazing.

    It’s a symptom of our society that we need to know our careers by the time we’re 21 or 22. How many of us even middle-aged don’t know why we’re here, or what is our true vocation. How many of us end up doing things that are completely different from our degree.

    Most importantly, don’t give up. You have the strength not to take your life, and that’s commendable. And please, by all means, talk to a person on a hotline if you’re seriously considering ending your life. It may be a temporary feeling that will have vast consequences for more people than you can imagine. And I’m not trivializing the significance of your misery–I understand the depths of depression. Just get the help with it, and don’t procrastinate.

    You are young, and I wish I could relay the enormity of potential in life that you have ahead of you.

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  2. Jeff P is so right! Take on board what he is saying. You can turn things around. Do not lose hope and please stop kicking yourself. All the very best.

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  3. You are young, you are human, you’ve made mistakes. The test of your character is in how you deal with those mistakes. MAN UP! There are options other than abortion, adoption or child support come to mind. As the above commenter states, this child might be amazing. I can tell you from experience, a loved child IS amazing.
    Talk to someone about your depression and please remember that “This too shall pass”. Everything always does and there will be many more joyous moments in your life. Trust me on this.
    Be kind to your partner, she’s probably as frightened as you are, maybe more as it will be her body that is changing and sadly society still judges young women.
    Go to or call your university’s alumni office, they can help with job placement or networking. You may not find your dream job, but you may find a job that will get you started in that direction. There are also head hunting companies for a fee taken out of your first few paychecks, and if you are so inclined, there is the Armed Services, that have given so many young men a start in life. Best of luck to you!

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  4. Simetimes we only see the bad things but I’m pretty sure you’re not alone, you’re loved by someone and you have to try harder accepting and learning from your mistakes. Remember, taking your life doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better… Stay strong!

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  5. Hey! Have you never read or watched stories/reports about people who have felt they messed up or are in the depths of despair, only to pull their lives together after an enormous struggle?

    The mother of your baby has every right to say ‘no’ to abortion and – though it may not feel like it now – being a dad could be the making of you.

    One of the hardest things to do when you are down is GET UP. But every morning you open your eyes you have the choice to decide whether it’s going to be a good or a bad day. Take one day at a time but PLEASE choose to make it a good one.

    You probably think that the person with a good job, fast car and house in the right suburb is on a winner, loving life and is as happy as can be. However, each person has a story to tell and, more often than not, it’s not as blissful as you might imagine, wealth or no wealth.

    Your story has touched people. Please let us know you are okay. Thank you.

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  6. Hello everyone, original poster here. I would like to thank you all for your kind words. At a time when I feel extremely alone, they really help. I can’t say I feel much different from when I originally posted my regret; I still very much so want to die. But, I have gotten on better terms with my ex and will begin seeing a psychiatrist soon. I still feel extremely depressed, but I try to take life a day at a time.

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  7. I am so grateful you took the time and trouble to give us an update on your situation. Thank you.

    With the help of your psychiatrist and the very sensible decision to take one day at a time, you will slowly begin to feel better within yourself.

    Since I read your original post, I have thought about you and, although I do not know you, I hope very much that you go on to discover the brighter side of life. I would like to wish you every happiness and success. Remember: people DO care. Kind regards, CB

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  8. As a man who became a father at 19, and whose oldest daughter is your age, I can say it was raising that child, loving that child, even though her mom and I had severe issues with each other and never married, that made me a man. Your child does not deserve death just because of the circumstances of his or her conception.

    As for the career stuff, I’m in my 40s and just figuring out what I want to do, and more importantly what God wants me to do. Life is full of surprises, and often they come and mess up our plans when we’re most convinced we have it all figured out. Ride the wave and appreciate the scenery in this journey we call life. God bless you!

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