SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: August 9, 2015

I regret the day I met my husband. He seemingly appeared to be everything a woman could want. I was a divorcee with three children. He accepted my situation just as it was. When I eventually introduced him to my children, they hit it off immediately. What I didn’t know was that he was and is a habitual liar and a serial cheater. My mother told me not to marry him and I didn’t listen. She told me that she knew he wasn’t the one for me. Shortly after we got married, I found out that he wasn’t the man I thought he was. He lived a double life. He had me believing that he worked for a moving company when he was living with another woman and working as a teacher right in the same area we lived in. When things hit the fan, I found out that he had slept with at least 5 other women. My heart is broken. I believed him when he said he was sorry and wanted us to work out. And I actually thought he was going to change only to find out that he went back to the woman that he had been living the double life with. He told her that he had had our marriage annulled. I am hurt and crushed. I hate the day that I ever laid eyes on him. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I feel like the worlds biggest fool!

2 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: August 9, 2015

  1. I am so sorry this happened to you.You are heart broken,yes,but at least you are not wasting any more time with this deceitful man.Please see a counsellor to help you get over this terrible sense of betrayal. Sadly I did not see one when I finally left my narcissistic husband and never could trust another man again.There are genuine men out there,but you will never see them if you have lost all trust in men and your judgement has become distorted.I too was warned by well meaning friends,but like you I was head over heel in love with that creature and did not take heed only to sorely regret it later.This happens to many women who are loving and are may be a little bit naive and trust too much,these kind of predators literally can smell a victim,we must learn to recognise the signs,see the red flags and counselling will help..Take care.

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  2. Sometimes you hear stories that want to make you scream “unfair!” and yours is one of those. When you found out he had slept with “at least 5 other women” and was expressing his regret, did you really believe he was remorseful? Was there a little bit of doubt in your mind? I think a lot of the time we don’t listen to our instinct. We are kind/generous (and sometimes oblivious to the facts) and give the other party the benefit of doubt and pray/hope/dream they are better than they really are. I speak from a perspective of experiencing enormous disappointment in the behaviour of someone I loved deeply.
    Do you know something? My road to Damascus moment came when I realised that I was a fool to expect better behaviour from my ex. Like you, I felt broken. I was broken. But, many months later, the realisation came to me that he won’t/can’t change, and my mistake was to believe otherwise. That behaviour is in his DNA. It was the day I started healing, albeit extremely slowly.

    You are not a fool! You are human, a loving, trusting, giving human. Humans make mistakes. We all do. Be kind to yourself. I wish you the very best of everything. Lots of love, compassion and understanding to you and your children. Many of us have walked your path. x

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