SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: August 4, 2015

My biggest regret is hurting and abandoning the love of my life. I was a jealous and arrogant person, driven my my insecurities and a lack of self confidence that i managed to hide for years behind a tough facade, and I treated you badly to my eternal regret.
I left you on your knees begging me not to leave you, I regret not falling to my knees and asking for your forgivness for being so unkind and to admit to you how scared I was. Its been nearly fiteen years now and not a day goes by without you being in my thoughts. I know you were better of without me as I was a poisonous person back then, dragging you down. I left you and ended up with someone who manipulated and used me and I could then see what I had done to you. I know we will never be together again, you are married and seem happy.
The last time I knocked at your door I had come to beg you to forgive me and was ready to fall at your feet for you to take me back. Your new boyfriend answered (to whom you are now married) answered. Now I laugh at the irony of that and it feels like I got what I deserved. And you got what you deserved ; happiness. I am not the same person now and regret all my foolish actions and in-actions that led me to loose you. All I have now are memories. I truly hope you are happy, as you wish.

One thought on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: August 4, 2015

  1. I too left a loving and caring man to end up with a controlling and abusive one.Basically I did not think I believe I deserved any kind of happiness.I come from a dysfunctional family where love was NEVER unconditional,I grew up trying to “deserve” people’s love and did not believe I deserved nor could recognise genuine love when it happened to me.It takes years to wake up to ourselves and know what makes us tick,but by then it is often too late,we have suffered many losses and made some pretty dumb mistakes on the way.I hope you are no longer in the bad relationship you mentioned and have moved on to find a better one with the self knowledge you have acquired through the years.Sadly we cannot go back knowing what we know now and put things right,no matter how we want to and God knows how I have wanted to! Just wish your ex girlfriend well and be glad of her happiness,I too found out the nice man I ditched is now very happily married with children and grand children and I bless him,he deserves every bit of it!

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