I wish I had never met you.

I do not and will never regret the two beautiful children that came from that marriage, but I wish every day that their mother had been someone else. I was good to you. I was kind and I worked to build a solid and stable life for you and our kids. But what I didn’t understand then is that Love does not conquer all. I thought I could help you with your troubled past. I have my own demons; I recognize that. I had a savior complex, due to my own lack of self worth. I married you because you were safe. I didn’t trust people, but I opened up to you because you seemed safe and you told me you were in love with me and that this love would last forever. I didn’t recognize how emotionally unstable you were. I didn’t understand viscerally what Borderline Personality Disorder meant. I thought if I took care of you, you would respect that and appreciate me and give me the emotional Love that I so much craved; something that was absent in my own upbringing. Things were good for many years, but then you decided to get Bariatric surgery so that you could feel better about yourself.

Then you habitually cheated on me and lied about it. I went crazy trying to reconcile the reality I suspected and the lies that you told me; telling me that I was being paranoid. When I caught you red-handed you begged for forgiveness. I forgave you and put us both into counseling. But you continued to cheat on me with another married man, while denying it. You turned the counselor against me; and you created viscous lies about me to justify your behavior. You used the courts to kick me out of the house that I built and to take the children from me. You drug out the divorce for years, draining all of the funds that were left, and when it was gone….you took what was left; the house, the kids and you still continue to stalk my friends and family. You are a pretty little liar – convincing and ruthless and I see you for the sociopath that you are. You know how to game the system. You’re a pro at eliciting sympathy from dirty old judges and petty people who enjoy spreading lies. Your actions directly led to the molestation of my daughter, but you didn’t care…so long as you got what you wanted. You are and will always be the trailer-park trash that I found you to be.

I wish every day that you would choke on your own vomit and die. I wish the kids were old enough to see you for who you are. My daughter will understand one day, but she is too young to resist your narcissistic manipulations. When you finally screw-up big, I will be there and I will step on your fingers as you hang from the ledge. I will spit and defecate on your grave. Your own family has disowned you, but that is just the beginning. I will watch you rot from within with complete indifference and contempt.

You are evil and you cannot hide that fact forever.

One thought on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 17, 2015

  1. That sounds like a borderline:( I’m sorry for all that has happened to you, but I’m sad for her too..because she is not getting the help she needs and continues to walk a very unhappy path of twisted lies. Some borderlines cant be saved, but she needs to at least try. If she can’t recognize the destruction she caused, then she cant make better decisions and will never get help or healthy. I wish you much luck in the future and hope you have a much happier next chapter.


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