After 30 yrs of being divorced from 1st husband & father of my children, I still regret getting the divorce. (Was married 11 yrs the first time.) Been remarried for over 25 yrs to a good man who has given me a good life. My regret is no reflection on him, my love for him or our marriage. It is apart from that and in spite of that. My reasons for divorcing weren’t good enough, the problems could have been fixed, I gave up, and the consequences are something me and our children, our grandchildren & my ex will always have to deal with. We’re friends, we get along well, but the divorce is a wound to my heart that will never completely go away and cannot be buried even by a good life now. For years, I kept waiting for the hurt to heal and finally realized it will always be there and is something I had to learn to live with. That is my punishment for the great sin of divorce without good enough cause. For anyone considering divorce, think, think and think again, do whatever you can to save your marriage. The grass isn’t greener and a second marriage isn’t easier. A second marriage and blended families are much more difficult to make work than the problems I thought were so unfixable in my first marriage. Had I worked half as hard in my first marriage as I have in my current marriage, there never would have been a divorce . Most people who divorce today do not have a good enough reason and over half, like me, regret their divorce. There’s a reason divorce is against God’s law and was once such a taboo. Divorce is a terrible thing. I realize there are exceptions and sometimes no recourse BUT divorce, and that is a completely different thing. But those cases are not nearly enough to account for the 50% divorce rate in the US. It’s a painful, life altering move that affects your life and that of your children FOREVER. If you can avoid it, do so. Except for those rare instances where divorce is justified, staying together through thick and thin, til death do you part IS the best thing.

2 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 3, 2015

  1. Thank you for writing this. You were honest and absolutely right on. Divorce
    affects you FOREVER!
    My husband gave up on my daughters and I after a 25 year marriage and married an old girlfriend from 30 years prior just 6 months after he left !!! 6 Months !! He apparently thought the grass was greener and who knows , maybe it was. We don’t communicate for obvious reasons. It left a devastating hole in our hearts…..hearts that will never heal no matter what anyone thinks or says. Divorce, infidelity ,verbal abuse all just sucks the life out of you. It NEVER is okay in a marriage.
    If only he REALLY knew the pain and sadness he left us with. ……… .
    I REGRET continuing to let it tear at my heart 3 years later .


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