I regret buying into the lie at 18 that if I wanted to get into medical school I needed to go to a great university first instead of starting out at a less expensive community college. I regret choosing my dream school and accepting my enrollment there. The week before classes started, my financial aid fell through. I was left in a financial situation I had never faced before. I didn’t have a father to help pay for school or support me. My mother always did her best, but even she couldn’t afford to help me pay for school. So faced with taking out loans or not going to college at all (it was too late to accept other offers), I made the worst financial mistake of my life and chose loans. Now, graduated without any prospects of landing a job in this horrible market and still applying to medical schools, I am drowning. I have applied to hundreds of jobs, but without the right connections it doesn’t matter these days. I have never failed so miserably in my entire life, but that’s exactly how I feel, a failure. My loans have almost doubled with the insane interest rates, and even working 40hrs a week isn’t nearly enough to cover the payments. Because of this, I can’t afford to live on my own, or buy a car etc, and I feel like such a burden to my family. I should be helping take care of my family by now, not the other way around. I am a woman of faith, but I have never felt more hopeless. I regret that the weight of these loans have had me contemplating suicide. My faith in God has been the only thing holding me back, that and the guilt of what it would do to my mother. But I honestly don’t know how to get out of this hole. I wish someone had warned me not to sign my life away at 18. I wish I had been smarter, done more research. I had no clue, I thought I would graduate, get a good paying job, apply to med school, get in and take more loans, and become a doctor and pay them all off. I didn’t think and now, I have no idea how to fix this. F/25

3 thoughts on “SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 1, 2015

  1. Slow down there- everyone at some point in their life goes through a rough time and makes poor choices- trust me I know. Yours happens to be now. Did it ever occur to you that maybe your plan of medical school is not Gods plan for you? God is not going to fix this you did not say but maybe turn this over in prayer, be still,listen and take one step at a time, solve 1 problem at a time. God is at your side you he will comfort you and provide you strength, which ultimately means the problems you face cannot define you.


  2. Don’t give up on your dreams. Take it slow and easy, things will work out somehow. I’m sure your family doesn’t think you’re a burden and they love you very much. You have good intents so I believe this will work its self out.


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